I have done this long enough to know that I am probably over-reacting, and worrying for nothing, but what ELSE am I supposed to do at 3AM? Sleep? Pff.
And I am over-reacting. I am up for merit review this year, and I got to read the recommendation letter the department sends off to the dean. They recommended I get the raise, and the letter was
So I don't suck. And my students, outliers or not, do not suck. But it's spring, the pollen is flying, the weather is rollercoastering between cold and grey and summer warm, and everyone is over it.