I now own a domain. Go me. It took far too long to 'easily' connect things to other things, and required a trip to the internet wayback machine to resurrect some links, but it's done.
I suspect skiffy connectivity (THANKS BIG CABLE COMPANY!) as the culprit. Every time I think oh, going the tech route would've been more lucrative, I am reminded of exactly how high stress the actual solving of the problem is, weighed against the eventual satisfaction. No. I would rather face essays.