The Writing

05 December, 2016

my new asshole neighbor


A young grey squirrel, eating spent grain and soggy cheetos left in the pot for sparrows and whatever the little brown-headed birds are called.

No. She is not cute. She's a tree rat. And unlike the actual rats (because we have real live wild rats--brown AND grey!) who live around here, she has no concern for the cats who haunt this patio on a regular basis.

Also, today, she ate the avocado. You can just see it in the photo, that slender green stalk of potential baby plant sticking up beside the hummingbird feeder (that's the black metal rod, which terminates in a glass bulb full of sugar water, which so far has escaped the squirrel's notice.) Against all odds, it was surviving my plant-care system of benevolent neglect. It was, like, still green and everything.

And today: broken. Devoured. Only a sad little fractured stem. Only I kill the plants on this patio, squirrel.

THIS MEANS WAR.